A Loss of Identity
by Sun Wu K0ng
Summary: A Percy Jackson/RWBY Crossover. During the Battle for Manhattan, Percy and Artemis were blasted by Hyperion through dimensions until they end up in a world with a fractured moon and a mindless swarm of enemies. A familiar setting but when Percy starts to make new friends with the main eight of RWBY, he struggles to find whether his loyalty belongs to Earth or Remnant.
1. LOI Ch 1

Ch. 1

Cracks drove through the concrete, deepening a ravine that spanned the entirety of Manhattan. Percy watched their chaotic origin kneel into a riverbed as Typhon struggled vainly against the enchanted chains in which Poseidon had bound him. Eyes on the father of monsters, the demigod missed the large foot flying towards his chest. The foot, however, did not miss him and crashed into his stomach hard enough to rattle his spine, launching him straight into the windshield of a parked car.

"Taking your eyes off an opponent during battle – an amateur mistake!" Percy wasted no time, rolling off the hood an instant before a flaming spear shattered the web of cracks he'd left behind, welding parts of the debris to the steering wheel and dash. The weapon proceeded to then melt straight through the engine and ignite the fuel line. _Ah, Hades._ The vehicular explosion launched Poseidon's son like a skipping stone, past the sidewalk and into a nearby park.

"...Ow." Percy kept his eyes forward, trained on his assailant as he peeled his back off the grass. The ringing slowly faded from his ears. "Maybe, huh? Then again, you used the foot first instead of the spear." The titan marched closer, fiery weapon streaking back to an extended hand. "Fire and light; I'm guessing Hyperion?"

"Indeed. And I want this fight to last." Sparks and pops hissed off the titan as he cracked his neck and rolled his shoulders. "Thanks to that pathetic sea god, this battalion shall likely fall before Lord Kronos crushes Olympus. It's only fitting that his spawn suffers for Typhon's defeat!" He then extended his hand, light glaring from flared fingers.

The beam shone extremely bright, so much that even with his forearm raised and eyelids clenched, Percy could make out the veins beneath his skin. He quickly thumbed his wristwatch, hiding behind the shield while rapidly blinking the spots out of his eyes. Around his sneakers the grass wilted, patches shaken to ash as monstrous footsteps pounded towards him, and soil crumbled to dust. The demigod tossed himself to the side, barely evading a titanic swing that cleaved through sand, millimeters from his back. Had he fought this battle five years ago, he would have contemplated the logistics of fighting that which was essentially a two-story building. Instead, he spun left, jamming the shield's rim at Hyperion's knee. _Gya-aah! What the - Some kinda giant made of flame but his skin is stronger than steel?!_

As they clashed through further exchanges, Percy found his opening when his opponent attempted a stab. Standing far taller than the demigod, the titan struck higher than intended and allowed the boy to slip under the fiery shaft. He marched back, swatting at the pest, when a large discus collided with his nose. Amaurotic by pain, the warrior could not prevent his foe from severing both of his achilles tendons.

Percy pushed past the subsequent monstrous outcry, slashing at the forearm that swept outward, and quickly backpedaled when a burning spearhead came dangerously close to his nose. Three steps kept him within the titan's arm reach. The 4th step crumbled to ash, quite literally, beneath his shoes. _This is oddly shaped like a footprint._

"I have you now, damn bastard!" On his knees, Hyperion crawled towards the boy, spear and armor scraping loudly against the ashen field. His enemy made a futile attempt to retreat, darting back like some insignificant crab. The Titan of Light moved faster, sweeping out the shrimp's puny legs, plucking its moronic shield, and tossing it away like a clam shell. "Nowhere left to go, boy! Let your father hear your screams!"

The spear fell and Percy immediately understood that Riptide would not help him. He dropped the ancient weapon and clasped the spearhead before it reached his chest. Even as a child of the Big Three, his strength could not have matched the titan's and the weapon crashed full force onto his chest...

...and seized.

The flaming tip dug towards his heart, threatening to break skin and vaporize six of his ribs along with the organs they protected. His hands shivered against tongues of fire, metal hissed on his palms, and steam rolled off the gaps between his fingers. _Ah, hot! Hot! Hot! Hot!_

Yet still, the weapon wouldn't kill him. _HOT!_

"How?!" Hyperion bared his distress openly. "How do you do this?! What magic keeps you from impalement and roasting like a-" A look of recognition flashed across the titan's face and his brows furrowed in determination. "Insolent brat! Even if you obtained the curse, Styx cannot save you from my wrath!" He quickly jerked back, hoisting it over a shoulder as one might a rocket launcher, and pointed the tip towards his enemy's head. "The light will show me your fatal weakness!"

The weapon grew brighter and heat raged so intense that Hephaestus would have recoiled. Percy felt reminded of Annabeth's words about clichéd occurrence when on the brink of death, something to do with life flashing before one's eyes, not that he could remember the exact phrasing. The Titan of Light definitely brought the concept closer to reality. The roar blossomed and each petal swirled into a dense, torrential spire. Something changed in Hyperion's expression, eyes narrowing and and teeth baring a more malicious edge. _I'm not safe anymore._

A series of explosions tore away the titan's chance at vengeance, quite literally, as three arrows sprouted between his knuckles, several more thudded along his back like porcupine quills, and a final silver streak pierced both cheeks. All bolts met their marks in the span of a millisecond and the total concussive force tossed him into a nearby streetlight.

Percy rolled away, conveniently over Anaklusmos, and rose to one knee rearmed. _Silver haft and feathering, not gold._ Another shaft whistled over his shoulder and struck Hyperion's knee, toppling the golden warrior before he could fully pick himself up. "Mucking about with this filth, Percy Jackson? I don't know what would make Poseidon's son waste time playing with the enemy." The lunar goddess strode to his side. "I dare not imagine you actually losing to an overgrown matchstick."

"Of course not, Lady Artemis. Just catching my breath." Despite her harsh words, he could just make out a hint of concern in her tone. "I myself am surprised by your use of explosives. You didn't seem the type to use such weaponry."

"Trying times, boy. The Father of Monsters demands desperate measures from any of his foes. Your father's efforts have left me many spares." Percy quickly did a once-over of the goddess, noting the three quivers she wore on her belt along with another two strapped to her back. Complex insignias embroidered each, symbols of moon and water with the rest not recognized. All of them were full to the point of weighing several pounds, were the arrows inside even standard quality. " _Many spares"? Understatement of the century._ "That oaf makes quite the ruckus. It's very annoying." Her words brought him back to the fallen behemoth, spewing curses while he regained his bearings. Artemis drew out two arrows, each from different quivers, and quietly nocked them together. "Go silence him, will you?"

Percy nodded. "Of course, My-" Silver flashes interrupted him, rushing from both sides and after a moment, Poseidon's son saw several hunters rushing the glowing colossus. "-...Lady?" Turning to her for an explanation, he was met with a mild, unrepentant shrug.

"The 'Early Hawk' and whatnot."

He'd paid for wasting time before and charged towards the Titan, albeit far slower than his allies. Two bolts flew over his shoulders, hitting his target in the foot and hand that wielded a weapon, freezing the former in place and disarming the enemy in one go.

"DAMN YOU, FOUL B*TCH!" The ice became water vapor so quickly that an explosive cloud blew back some of the silver frontrunners. Hyperion thrust out his hand yet again to summon back his weapon only for an agile weight to settle atop his shoulders and an entirely different spear to puncture through his wrist. A smaller body dragged the shaft down, pinning the limb to the asphalt.

Eyes of an electric blue bore into the sockets of fire. "It is not wise to speak of Lady Artemis in this way, especially when challenging her hunters." The burning warrior flexed his arm, undeterred by the demigod's words, and froze (ironically) as thunder rumbled overhead. Light cannot withstand lightning and the titan yowled in anguish as bolts of electricity struck the spear trapping him, racing along his body like a chilling flame. He fell to his knees, tearing at his wrist with his spare hand, while the girl sprinted up his arm.

"THALIA!" She recognized Percy's voice, even after two years of separation, and saw the disk-shaped mini-UFO in time to catch it. She paused and inspected the object. _He threw me his shield? Seriously? Why?!_ "CYMBAL MONKEY!" " _Symbol Monkey"?... What the- Ooooooh. SWEET._ Zeus's daughter brought out her own shield, the sheen a black of midnight as opposed to a regular bronze, and positioned both so that the insides of the shields faced each other. She whipped them back with a maniacal grin before swinging them towards the opposite sides of the Titan's head. _BONG!_

*KWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!*

On impact, her new weapons rang Hyperion's helmet like a church bell, the air reverberating between the metal surfaces to the point of being nauseous. The titan jerked back his spare hand, twitching his fingers as though to grasp some imaginary fruit, and opened the gates to attack. Silver arrows struck immediately, aggressively pelting his breastplate. Percy leapt through it all and aimed Riptide towards what he assumed was the Titan's heart. The enchanted blade sank deep, a hot knife carving through butter, causing the flaming general to topple. The demigod continued on, sliding past the legs before reaching out towards the Hudson. He felt a familiar tug in his gut and the tide rose higher than the nearby buildings. Hyperion never saw the final stroke before it hit him.

His victory in hand, Poseidon's son walked back to see a group of fuming girls, several wringing the water from their braids, most shivering, and all glaring bloody murder at his face. _Huh. In hindsight, I could have controlled the wave better._ He didn't bother dodging the electric slap to his cheek his cheek, though the girl who did waited for his response.

"Uh… sorry?"

"Damn right you better be!" Thalia stalked past him, kicking the steaming shell of their former foe. Despite the impromptu shower he'd received, Hyperion lay completely dry with wisps of steam rolling off his skin. "At least it did the trick." The hunters didn't stop giving him death glares, even as their goddess gracefully joined them.

All eyes turned to him, causing some level of internal strife, and he coughed awkwardly into his fist. "Luke is probably going to rush the Empire State Building now. We should regroup with Annabeth and Grover and the others before-"

He had no explanation for what happened next. One second they'd been casually discussing strategy next to a fallen opponent and the next, the heat rose from room to a forest fire. _How many times, in however many different ways, can a guy get interrupted in one day?!_ He was also trapped in a bearhug with a flaming helmet bearing down on him. _Ah, hot! TOO HOT!_

"Enough! I will be denied no longer!" So close to Hyperion's bellow, Percy felt a non-water liquid begin pooling in his ears. "I will not go back to the pit empty-handed! I don't care what it takes, YOU'RE GOING WITH ME!" The blaze grew brighter and the titan began to glow.

"Hunters! Shield your eyes!" _That's more than redundant at this point._ They'd all experienced flashes from immortals, mainly Olympians, but this would be the first from a titan. They expected the light to reach its peak before fading and they would be safe so long as their eyes were closed.

However, the Titan of Light didn't plan on doing a simple light show and the glow increased exponentially.

"Why is it growing?!"

"Hasn't he reached his limit yet?!"

The giant boomed out a string of guffaws. "Fools, all of you! Nothing in this war will be won without sacrifice!"

"Hunters, fire on him! NOW!" By voice, it appeared that Artemis had given the order instead of Thalia. Something sounded odd in the tone, seeming as though the goddess expressed fear, and that terrified the son of Poseidon. The volley flew, enough arrows launched to eclipse the sun, but upon coming within ten feet of the pair, the wood disintegrated instantly and molten arrowheads harmlessly flopped onto the ground.

And still the glow grew. _THIS IS GETTING REALLY HOT RIGHT NOW!_

Thalia voiced her outrage. "Father Almighty! I have my eyes shut and an arm up and I can still see! What in Hades is he doing?!" Her voice sounded distant now, maybe a little muted. His head was starting to hurt but the pain was going away. _Too hot… really… tired…_ The noise gradually died down and Percy could barely even feel his skin anymore.

The last thing he remembered before the world went dark was something colliding with him, knocking him out of the fire. He only noticed because whatever did hit him felt colder than ice.

/-/-/-/

 **So, yeah. That's the new Ch. 1 for A Loss of Identity. Hopefully, it's written just a bit better than the original. The next two updates are labeled so put what you will.**

 **Please remember the rules of criticism:**

 **1) Don't express love or hate**

 **2) Don't label the work**

 **3) Don't suggest ideas for future plot**

 **4) Mention both what works and what could be improved**


	2. LOI Comment Responses 1

LOI Comment Responses 1

 **Oured: Nice story so far :)**

 _Thanks._

 **DP-Observant69: Nice to see your back. Looking forward for that rewrite, speaking of, have you finally decided on what Percy's semblance would be yet.**

 _No, actually. You'll see what I'm doing of you keep going._

 **Jose19: Artemis will not hate Percy for long during the canon he proved his worth as a male to this Goddess.**

 _I wasn't trying to illustrate a hateful relationship. While I'm well aware of the fact that he's earned her respect, there are several grays between hate and love. I was trying to illustrate indifference, with slight mild annoyance at nitpicks that she observes._

 **Guest: Another one bites the dust~**

… _Not quite sure what this is supposed to mean. Is it meant for me? For the story? For your interest?_

 **Guest: I'm excited to see what you have in store for us with your rewrite. I agree that your earlier chapters weren't fantastic, but they were fair. Your writing also improved greatly as the story went on, so I see a lot of potential for the rewrite.**

 **My only real criticism is to try to describe scenes a bit better, I suppose. There were many times where scenes would fly past much too quickly. It lessened the importance of those scenes, even if they weren't supposed to be important.**

 **I suppose I also don't like how passive Percy is at times here. For instance, when Cardin is bullying Jaune. Percy is very protective, and it shows in the begining of The Lightning Thief where it's mentioned that he got into fights and lost sleep over Grover being bullied. I think this would show up again with Percy protecting Jaune regardless of what the blond says. But that's a more personal objection.**

 **Sorry for the long review, but you seem to like it when we (the reviewers) give reasons for what we say. I hope I did an aproppriate job here**

 **Anyway, thanks for putting your work out there for us to enjoy, and I'm looking forward to seeing what you do next with the rewrite.**

 _Thanks for the comment. I'll try to do better with Percy's character and the scenes in general._

 **Gaming Master Anthony: Congrats on your new job!**

 **As for the update thing don't worry, take your time with stuff.**

 _Thank you for understanding._

 **Thunderwolf722: I will read the remake.**

 _Thanks._

 **Rc Jackson: the prophecy said a choice would either preserve or raze olympus...not destroy or save the entire planet…**

 _I'm not actually quite sure where I wrote that. Not even sure it matters anymore. Thanks for pointing it out._

 **Amitserene41 (PM): Could you continue a loss of identity**

 _You're welcome._

 **MajorisHypergiant-reborn: this is nice. I'll add it to the 31 stories i'm reading. And please take the time you need to get this done well. Not like you're being payed for this anyway. it's just nice.**

 _...Cool._


	3. LOI Semblance Chart 1

**For those still interested in this, I've taken the liberty of offering my ideas along with my reasons. If you still want to participate, please remember:**

 **THIS IS NOT A POLL!**

 **Your opinions and desires WILL NOT CHANGE THE OUTCOME OR MY DECISION!**

 **What I choose, I'll choose because it has THE MOST REASONS, NOT THE MOST SUPPORT!**

(

 **PERCY'S SEMBLANCE**

 _[2] FLAME (Control of fire)_

 _\- Percy's instinctual fighting style when he's backed into a corner_

 _\- Percy's emotional reaction to fighting_

 _[2] POWER SPONGE (For a short time, can gain the abilities, strength, skill and durability of those which he has made a bond so long as they are in close proximity)_

 _\- Percy's arc before this story has him often learning from his friends and experiences to become a better fighter and person, emotionally, physically and mentally_

 _\- Percy will often make strong connections to friends or others which he feels close with_

 _[1] CONVERSION COERSION (While speaking to someone, he becomes more able to convince them to either become loyal to that which he is loyal or make them obsess over that which they are loyal_

 _\- An extension of his fatal flaw_

 _[1] WOUND TRANSFER: (Taking on the pains and injuries of individuals with which he has made a bond)_

 _\- Fatal Flaw_

 _[1] WIND (Control of the air currents)_

 _\- Percy's character's duality as a double-edged sword_

 _[1] DESTRUCTION {touch=destruction/explosion/disintegration/etc.}_

 _\- Perseus namesake_

 _[1] HORSES (summon a horse…)_

 _\- Poseidon created the horses, inheritance from father_

 _[1] EARTH (Some degree of control of the ground and stone in his near vicinity)_

 _\- Poseidon is the Earth Shaker_

 _[0] ILLUSION BREAKER: (The ability to see through illusions)_

(

 **ARTEMIS'S SEMBLANCE**

 _[1] CALL OF THE WILD (Summon wildlife to her position as aides)_

 _\- A domain of Artemis_

 _[0] CLOAK (everything super stealth except for invisibility and intangibility)_

(

 **If you have any new ideas or more reasons to add, please comment them. If you don't agree with some of the reasons I put up, please EXPLAIN why.**


	4. LOI Ch 2

Ch. 2

Everything burned. All of it - his skin, arms, legs… even his hair - roared in one continuous blaze. Mallets smashed away at his head, pounding each inch of surface on his skull. In the past, he'd endured headaches where some ethereal midget drove a never-ending spike into his temple for hours. He'd survived an exploding boat by leaping into water at a height where any normal person would have shattered their bones. Hades, a group of dog-seal hybrids tossed his *ss into a volcano, which he then caused to erupt, launching his body thousands of miles away where he struck Calypso's Island with the speed and force of a celestial bronze HEAT shell. This… This agony - it felt worse than anything he'd suffered prior. No, it felt worse than everything he'd suffered prior; all of it combined could not match the sheer amount of shit he'd endured at that moment, if he even perceived its entirety. Percy found it miraculous his lungs hadn't run dry screaming. Maybe they had or maybe his lips had melted shut. He didn't possess enough strength to part them.

Gradually, the pain faded enough for him to distinguish the various degrees of limb strain. Two strips of skin, one under his knees and the other just below his shoulder blades, felt cooler than the rest of his body. His side crushed an already numb left arm against some other smooth surface while his right arm dangled freely, swinging back and forth. His arm swung… and when he took a moment to considered it, his weight bounced slightly to a rhythmic pattern. _Is… Is someone carrying me?_

If so, the person performing such a service let go without warning. The arms previously supporting his frame abruptly sloped, rolling him roughly over some ledge - he didn't meet any ground after the first few seconds of freefall. Tumbling through the air, Percy's limbs betrayed his mind and spun like propellers on both ends of his spine. _Ah, f*ck! My… legs!_

Heated glass plunged into ice water can potentially shatter into millions of shards.

Now, what about a demigod burned to the point of near vaporization and then dropped from a cliff into thrashing waves? Well, that body hits the surface with enough force to snap every muscle and bone, which he thankfully did not experience upon instantly blacked out.

/-/-/-/

Percy awoke into an abyss of murky liquid completely void of light. Lacking any of the pain before his fall, the demigod would have panicked, assuming that he'd died and gone to the underworld. That said, he could feel the surrounding salt and water which helped calm his thoughts. Also, he'd visited the underworld three times and his surroundings did not resemble that place at all.

While his muscles still felt sore, such a minor problem did not place him in any immediate danger. He knelt slowly and dragged his hand along the floor, expecting sand. Instead, the ground poked back at his fingers, smooth edges and sudden hooks randomly nicking his palm; the texture closely resembled obsidian. He pulled his arm back, gazing at the cuts, at least he assumed they were since the water hadn't brightened. The skin knit itself back together. _Odd. I don't sense any volcanic vents nearby._

 _ **Swim. Smell. Swim. Smell. Smelling. Something here.**_ His head snapped right and Percy briefly looked for the speaker. He then rolled his eyes at the pointlessness of such action. _**Something close. Closer. Food. Lure. Food now.**_ A small ball of light appeared in front of him, about the size of a marble. _**Food. Luring.**_ The fish's head came into view, dimly lit but vividly bright considering how long he stood in darkness. It looked similar to an angler fish that roamed the far reaches of his father's kingdom, with teeth that took up 80% of its face and pearl-white eyes.

 _Hi._ The fish stopped swimming and the marble began swinging left and right.

 _ **Food talked. Strange food.**_ Percy reached forward and flicked the esca dangling in front of him. The gesture sent the fish spinning backwards by a foot.

 _You wanna stop that?_

 _ **Food talked again. Food very strong.**_ The esca dimmed out of existence as the jaws parted. _**Not food. Danger. Enemy.**_

Poseidon's son rolled his eyes again. _I'm not here to hurt you. Come back here so we can talk._ After a pause, the water in front of him thinned slightly. _Good. Can you turn your light thingy back on again?_

…

 _Um… lure again?_ The esca came back into view.

 _ **Eat you?**_

 _No._

 _ **Hurt me?**_

 _No._

 _ **I'm leaving.**_ The fish swam off abruptly, abandoning him in the deep ocean.

 _Good talk._ Percy crouched and pushed off, willing the currents into a vertical spiral with him at its eye. However, even with his power, seconds dragged into minutes before a tiny white bulb came into view, probably the moon. Even after that, it still took a considerable amount of time for him to break the surface, literally climb onto the shore, and finally stomp his way up the beach. Despite the fact that the distance between the drop and plant life was only 20 feet, the ocean struck his calves harder than usual and the resultant white water concealed the natural phenomenon.

Sat at the water's edge, a woman hunched over her crossed legs, auburn mane tickling her knees. The waves lapped at her sandals, caking her toes in wet sand, though she didn't react to it. Her shoulders rose and fell steadily, body listing to the side slightly before she snorted and then unconsciously tilted back. As he came closer, Percy heard a sound similar to fall leaves rustling in a cool, gentle breeze - strange but undoubtedly snoring. She'd clearly fallen asleep waiting for something, most likely him. _And now I feel like a d*ck for not rushing._

Tried as he had to move quietly, his shoes still slung water randomly and footfalls crashed into the surf with all the subtlety of a 50-foot storm tearing across half a continent. The woman awoke from ample racket, hand-tossing her hair behind a single braid. Percy coughed into his hand.

"Um, uh… Miss? Thank you for carrying me to the-" Their eyes met and he abruptly cut off. _Silver eyes._ A quick once-over of the beach behind her revealed a discarded set of bronze greaves and breastplate adorned in silver embroidery. "Lady Artemis?" The goddess turned her gaze upwards towards the moon and slowly rose to her feet. He took the time to soak in her appearance - her new form varied so greatly from that of the average hunter. At twice her original height, she stood a full inch taller than him, her new age having brought several new changes to her body and face that would have sown jealousy throughout Aphrodite's cabin. The tunic had grown with her, thankfully, and she sported long hair that touched her back with a single braided loop around her upper neck. Without warning, she sucker-shot him in the stomach and tossed him *ss-first back into shallow water. _And that's what I get for staring._

"Ten hours." Artemis spoke in so cold a tone she could have frozen the incoming tide. "That is how long I have had to sit here and wait for your arrival. I am fully aware that Styx gifted you her curse and protection, and that as Poseidon's spawn, the seas should have rapidly accelerated your healing. What reason have you for wasting my time like this? Were you busy polishing your hair and clothes? Or perhaps you played sharks and minnows in a coral reef? Obviously, you felt so captivated frolicking along the shoreline-"

"I woke up just under an hour ago."

"Pardon?"

"I. Woke. Up-"

She waved off-handedly. "I heard you. Explain!"

"The ground stops about 10 feet out." She followed as he parted the water in front of him, enough so that the drop became visible. "I ended up sinking the entire way down to the ocean floor. Think I felt some obsidian down there. Also saw an Angler fish." They reached the edge and Artemis knelt, brushing her fingers along the oceanic ridge. Her hand returned, covered in several small shards of volcanic glass. She quickly dipped her hand into the water, cleansing them of the substance, and stood up while shake-drying her hands.

"Alright."

"... Alright? You believe everything I just said?"

She turned, prompting him to follow her gaze upwards. "I have already come to accept many disturbing things about this place." His jaw hit the sand at the neo moon: it seemed as though a smaller, denser, object had punctured the satellite, demolishing a good third of the pale orb. Parts of the moon had broken off into visible chunks and floated close to the fracture point.

"What the f*ck?"

/-/-/-/

"So, not your moon?"

"No. Not my chariot, not our world, not our universe."

"How sure are you?" Percy's heart skipped a beat the instant the words left his lips and judging by the dirty look the goddess shot back at him, he'd phrased the question poorly.

"Quite." He barely ducked the branch she pulled back to smack him. "I roamed the Earth for millenia with my hunters, tracking game and eliminating our foes. I have thoroughly explored each and every woodland on our planet, and yet…" She reached out and grasped a dangling leaf, "I recognize nothing of this place."

"Okay, but another world? Why not time travel then, if we're considering parallel dimensions?"

"As a child, I listened to my mother's stories of Kronos's rule and she kept one thing consistent: He reigned a world covered with a golden sky, aptly inspiring the term for his 'Golden Age'." She looked back to him and paused, her eyes narrowing as she dragged back another limb. "Something 'clever'?"

"So, the Silver Age…" *WHACK*

"Don't be stupid. Moving on, I'd be able to sense something from Olympus, destroyed or not, so a world neither in future nor past must exist in the present. Despite being quite different from our home, this place shares many similar aspects: trees, water, sky, land, sealife, wildlife, that we breathe oxygen, etc. Thus, I find it far more likely that we now stand in a parallel world."

The demigod looked about their surroundings, straining his ears. "It's rather quiet for a place full of wildlife."

"Under normal circumstances, I'd have placed the blame solely on your monstrous trodding." She stopped suddenly, impeding both of their progress forward, and drew out one arrow from a quiver marked with a frost symbol. "However, they actually fled quite some time ago. I'm surprised you noticed at all."

"What? Why - what scared them off?"

The Olympian huntress drew back her bowstring. "Most likely that which follows us now." He followed the arrow line into a brush overcast by a redwood shadow. Two red beacons shone between the leaves, glaring murderous intent. "It would appear that monsters threaten us here as well."

/-/-/-/

 **And that is Ch. 2.**

 **Please remember the rules of criticism:**

 **1) Don't express love or hate**

 **2) Don't label the work**

 **3) Don't suggest ideas for future plot**

 **4) Comment on both what works and what doesn't**


	5. LOI Comment Responses 2

LOI Comment Responses 2

 **Invisibleboy203: A semblance for Artemis could be slow start that at the beginning of a battle she isn't at full speed but as the fight continues she will become faster and faster able to dodge much faster and move in general**

 **Reason: Artemis being the goddess of the hunt has to move fast to hunt deer and other such prey that moves fast also moving faster would let her shoot faster which is what she was able to do when she was a goddess. This drains her aura so it wouldn't be able to be functioning at max for no more than 2 minutes.**

 _I already planned on giving her enhanced speed thanks to the aura she receives. If I center her semblance on speed to boost that aspect even further, she'll be more than breaking the Coulomb Barrier. If you followed along the story last time, after she got her aura unlocked, she moved faster than everyone but Ruby could comprehend - and even then, Ruby still struggled to keep up._

 **XoverFan4evaaaa: I'm glad you rewrote the story, no offence but the previous version wasnt that well written, I'm glad to see this story being rewitten with a more sure-footed plot, better description of events and a wider variety of language used! Keep up the good work!**

 **(p.s if you find any spelling mistakes sorry since I wrote it on mobile…)**

 **From a old time fan**

 **-XoverFan4evaaaa**

 _Thx._

 **Greatatthinkingbadatwriting: I don't know whatyou would call it, but I think that a good semblance for Percy could also be the opposite of power sponge. This means that instead of taking he gives. This way it goes both with his nature as a giving person and with his abilities as a leader.**

 _I'll accept it. But, those both can be covered by one reason._

 _[1] The Gift (For a short time, can lend his abilities, strength, skill, and durability to anyone he has made a bond with)_

 _\- His nature to devote himself to aiding his colleagues_

 **Random Reader (Guest): Storm Bringer - allows him to generate and control winds and lighting (storms) to a much more effective degree (akin to a child of Zeus).**

 **Not to unusual since Poseidon is also known as the storm Bringer. Percy can already make small hurricanes so why not make him even better at it, while also upgrading his lighting powers.**

 _Percy has never had lightning powers to begin with. His powers have always resided in the power of the ocean, not the sky. Your reasoning of "Stormbringer" also does not justify an enhancement of either wind or electric abilities_.

 **Marceillo: Well for percy my vote goes to destruction because it fits well and could be a very helpful tool to defeating stronger foes and for artemis i think cloak would be more fitting**

 _Not a vote. Stop it._

 _Using plot convenience as reasoning for story decisions. Any writer worth his/her salt knows not to make such an amateur mistake._

 _You did not put down any genuine common sense or reasons to support your ideas._

 **HaywireEagle: I honestly, don't feel much for the idea of a fire based semblance since it really does not suit his nature as a Son of the Seagod. Storms, Hurricanes, Horses, Earthquakes. All of these make sense given his nature. Anything fire related... not really. He's not a cyclops after all.**

 _Not a vote. Stop it._

 **Gaming Master Anthony: Have his semblance be remnants version of the curse of Achilles. And have him say that his hydrokenesis is a part of his semblance.**

 **Or just have his semblance be his normal powers**

 _Not a vote. Stop it._

 _Provide reasoning._

 _There is no point in him having a semblance like this because he already has the power, thus making your proposal redundant._

 **Luisfilipe032: It's nice to see you're continuing this story.**

 **This rewrite felt better than the original. I like the way you've changed some interactions and descriptions. It gives a whole other feel and depth to the scenes that I, as a reader, can enjoy more; almost as if I AM the character in that particular moment. It paints a cleaner and clearer picture in my head, as if it were a movie (I'm sure you know what I mean).**

 **Something which I think could use some work is the way that sometimes you oversimplify the text: while it is good for pace and not as heavy on the eyes and mind, it can sometimes distract and confuse the readers, especially the ones that aren't as used to read in English (I say this from my own initial experience as a non-English speaker when I first encountered this site).**

 **Also, your fight scenes could be a bit more descriptive and longer. For example, Percy's fight was described in a simpler and more straightforward way than Artemis'. And don't be afraid to use onomatopoeia, they may seem more appropriate for comic books but they can work very well in a story like this.**

 **Anxious for the next update.**

 _Thx._

 **Thunderwolf7226: This was good.**

 _Thx._

 **Rc Jackson: you wrote that destroy or save the planet i your commentary at the end or beginning of one of the chapters contemplating percy and what his life would be like based on his semblance or something and his name in interaction with the prophecy**

 _Oh. Okay._

 **Gamelover41592: nice restart looking forward to seeing where you go with it**

 _Thx._


	6. LOI Semblance Chart 2

**For those still interested in this, I've taken the liberty of offering my ideas along with my reasons. If you still want to participate, please remember:**

 **THIS IS NOT A POLL!**

 **Your opinions and desires WILL NOT CHANGE THE OUTCOME OR MY DECISION!**

 **What I choose, I'll choose because it has the MOST REASONS, NOT THE MOST SUPPORT!**

 **(**

 **PERCY'S SEMBLANCE**

 _[2] FLAME (Control of fire)_

 _\- Percy's instinctual fighting style when he's backed into a corner_

 _\- Percy's emotional reaction to fighting_

 _[2] POWER SPONGE (For a short time, can gain the abilities, strength, skill and durability of those which he has made a bond so long as they are in close proximity)_

 _\- Percy's arc before this story has him often learning from his friends and experiences to become a better fighter and person, emotionally, physically and mentally_

 _\- Percy will often make strong connections to friends or others which he feels close with_

 _[1] THE GIFT (For a short time, can lend his abilities, strength, skill, and durability to anyone he has made a bond with)_

 _\- His nature to devote himself to aiding his colleagues_

 _[1] CONVERSION COERSION (While speaking to someone, he becomes more able to convince them to either become loyal to that which he is loyal or make them obsess over that which they are loyal_

 _\- An extension of his fatal flaw_

 _[1] WOUND TRANSFER: (Taking on the pains and injuries of individuals with which he has made a bond)_

 _\- Fatal Flaw_

 _[1] WIND (Control of the air currents)_

 _\- Percy's character's duality as a double-edged sword_

 _[1] DESTRUCTION {touch=destruction/explosion/disintegration/etc.}_

 _\- Perseus namesake_

 _[1] HORSES (summon a horse…)_

 _\- Poseidon created the horses, inheritance from father_

 _[1] EARTH (Some degree of control of the ground and stone in his near vicinity)_

 _\- Poseidon is the Earth Shaker_

 _[0] ILLUSION BREAKER: (The ability to see through illusions)_

 **(**

 **ARTEMIS'S SEMBLANCE**

 _[1] CALL OF THE WILD (Summon wildlife to her position as aides)_

 _\- A domain of Artemis_

 _[0] CLOAK (everything super stealth except for invisibility and intangibility)_

 **(**

 **If you have any new ideas or more reasons to add, please comment them. If you don't agree with some of the reasons I put up, please EXPLAIN why.**


End file.
